Ax picks out a Breakfast Cereal
by Elcolo9
Summary: Ax faces the most horrifying challenge of all: The cereal aisle...


Ax Goes to buy Cereal.  
  
[K. I wote this in History class 2day. no flames PLZ.]  
  
  
My name is Aximili-Esgarrouth-Ithsill.  
  
I am the only Andalite to be marooned on earth, as far as I know.  
  
With the Exception of Visser Three, I have the most morphs available.  
  
And, to the best of my knowledge, I am the only Andalite to experiance true taste.  
  
At first glance, Earth, or Terra, may seem like an unimportant, backwater planet. However, Humans are true artist's when it comes to food. They have created the potatoe chip, the mars bar, the cinnamon bun, and the fine white powder known as salt. However, salt should not be consumed in large quantities. Believe me. Someday after the war, vast pilgrimagges of all known species will come to earth to eat the deliciouse foods and drink the deliciouse gasoline. Even the Mak may come, as they never eat, whatsoever. Their body's generate the electricity that they function on.  
  
Humans have certain meals each day, one in the morning, afternoon and evening. Eating between meals is discouraged. As the human Rachel says "you have to stay in the 'Zone'". They are very ridged about the types of food that should be eaten at certain times, for example, Prince Jake says that cigarrete butts are not a breakfast food, but a 'alcoholics food'.  
I do not know what he means by this.  
  
That brings me to what I was with my friends Marco and Tobias, at the Supermarket for.  
  
I was going to buy a breakfast cereal.  
  
A supermarket is a tempal to food. In order to comsume the deliciouse food, you must first exchange the green paper and sliver coins that humans call 'money'.   
  
All types of food are kept in different areas and most are guarded by signs. Although I cannot understand some human sayings , I am sure that the signs are warnings not to steal the food. Marco once said that he was scared by a supermarket sign that claimed that '98 degrees would play in the local ampitheater soon. Marco is very knowledgable when it comes to such things.  
  
However, the most frightening area is the cereal aisle. It is guarded by Tigers, Leprechans and even worse, Quakers.  
  
"Why must I pick up a cereal? Eeeeal. Sier. Yal." I asked Tobias. The human mouth is the most amazing toy in the universe. that must be why the Yeerks are invading this world. To take the mouths from the humans and play with them.  
  
"Because, Ax, you can't just eat cinnamon buns and popcorn all day. You need some nutrition in your diet." Tobias replied.  
  
"Besides," Marco began, "Cereal is great it has more sugur than cinnamon buns and it is perfectly normal to eat all day. Even at night."  
  
I decided to give cereal a try.  
  
Mustering up all of my courage, a walked into the cereal aisle. It is one thing to fight a seven foot tall Hork-Bajir, and another to evade a Quaker who tells you to 'nuke for 1 minute, then enjoy'. I am totally positive that this is a human death-threat.  
  
"How about this one? Un. Bout. They 'bout' sound is a very satisfying sound."  
  
"Yeah, Ax." Marco rolled his eyes. "It's a friggin' human acheive ment just to say it."  
  
I could detect the sarcasm in his voice.  
  
"Besides," he went on, "That's Tasty Bran. It tastes like Yeerk pool water."  
  
I picked up a box that said 'Count Chocula', with an image of a Gervasid intersexual on the front.  
  
"What about this one?" I asked them.  
  
"Maybe. If you want serious tooth decay." Answered Tobias.  
  
For an hour, my friends helped me find a breakfast cereal.  
  
Eventually we just gave up and decided on Quaker Oat's, Wich I decided must be human for "Evil Goop".  
  
After all, if the humans had Quakers endorsing it, it must be bad, right?  
  
At my scoop, I tried out the new Microwave oven that Cassie gave me for my recent 34th birthday.  
  
I nuked it for one minute.  
  
I took a spoonful.  
  
"This is WONDERFUL food!" I screamed, losing all controll.  
  
Marco and Tobias looked at each other and smiled.  
  
I now eat Quaker Oats every morning. And Afternoon. And Night.   
  
The only drawback is, I must never look at the box.  
  
After all, Quakers are very scary creatures. 


End file.
